Capricorn Report

"Capricorn's Cosmic Forecast: Saturn Calls for Hard Work, But It's Okay - Those Goat Horns Aren't Just for Show!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Get Your Flux Capacitor Ready! Cosmic Shifts to 88mph Ahead!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Forecast: Expect Stellar Traffic Jams on Saturn's Rings, Pack Extra Patience in Your Astro-Suitcase!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, Prepare to Balance More Than Just Scales - Galaxy-Sized Cosmic Shenanigans Ahead!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Alert: Expect a Sudden Influx of Nebula Dust. Sweeping it Under the Cosmic Rug Not Recommended!"

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Leo Report

"Leo Roars: Can't Decide if it's Quantum Physics or Vegan Tacos Causing Existential Crisis!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancer, Phone Home! Your Galactic Guide to Navigating the Stars is Here!"

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Gemini Report

"Twinsies Alert! Gemini, Brace Yourselves for a Cosmic Sibling Rivalry - Just Remember, No Laser Guns Allowed!"

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Taurus Report

"Taureans, Prepare for an Udder-ly Amazing Week, Says Van Gogh's Stary Starry Forecast!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, Phone Home: Your Hotline to Cosmic Shenanigans and Interstellar Mischief!"

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ChipWitch Today for 31 October, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 31 October, 2023

Retrograde Report for 31 October, 2023. There are currently 4 planets in retrograde.

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Rusty Red Waters in Madagascar

This image, taken by an astronaut on the International Space Station, shows the reddish-brown waters of the Betsiboka River Delta in Madagascar. The c...

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, Prepare to Swim Upstream in the River of Stars: Galactic Salmon Season is Upon Us!"

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Aquarius Report

"Aquarius, Brace Your Space Boots: You're About to Gravitate Towards Success... and Perhaps a Nebula of Drama!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Prepare Thyself: A High Probability of Unexpected Nebulae in Your Constellation This Month...Fascinating!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Prepare to Shoot Your Galactic Arrow Through a Comet! Expect Stardust Showers and Alien In-laws This Month!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpios, Pack Your Sonic Screwdrivers! Time for a Whirlwind Through the Stars, But Watch Out for Dalek-like Bosses!"

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Libra Report

"Libra: Beware of Balance Beam Bloopers, Love is in Retrograde and Your Scales are Tipping Towards a Cosmic Crush!"

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Virgo Report

"Planets Align, They Do! Virgo, Your Destiny Awaits - But First, Clean Your Room You Must!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Prepare to Roar: Interplanetary Shenanigans Indicate You Might Become Klingon Emperor... Or At Least Get A Parking Space!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancer, Your Crabby Mood Might Just be a Galactic Misunderstanding: Mercury Retrograde Strikes Again!"

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Gemini Report

"Hey Gemini, Even the Millennium Falcon Can't Outrun This Week's Retrograde - Strap In!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus, Get Ready to Charge: Galactic Bull Market Ahead! Keep Your Hooves on the Ground and Reach for the Stars...But Not Literally. That'd Be a Nightmare for NASA!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, Mercury's in Retrograde, So Good Luck Trying to Find Your Car Keys... Again!"

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The Moon is moving from Taurus to Gemini

"Space Traffic Update: The Moon Switches Galactic Lanes from Taurus to Gemini - Hold Onto Your Tricorders, Folks!"

ChipWitch Today for 30 October, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 30 October, 2023

Retrograde Report for 30 October, 2023. There are currently 4 planets in retrograde.

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Pisces Report

"Pisces, Prepare to Engage in Hyper-Jump! Your Emotional Baggage is Not Allowed on This Interstellar Journey!"

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Aquarius Report

"Boldly Go Where No Aquarius Has Gone Before: Warp Speed Towards Love, Laughter, and Quantum Physics Shenanigans!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, Prepare to Defy Gravity! Saturn's Rings Have Loosened and It's a Free-For-All in the Cosmic Playground!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Alien Abductions Now on Pause: Sagittarius, Your Unfathomable Luck Could Even Win a Chess Match Against Spock!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, Prepare for a Stellar Week: Even Black Holes Can't Suck the Fun Out of Your Horoscope!"

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Libra Report

"Balancing Act! Libra, Your Scales May Tilt Toward Chaos This Week - Quantum Physics to Blame!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, You're Not Just Organized, Your Life is a Spreadsheet! Planetary Alignment Predicts a Ctrl+Z Week Ahead!"

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Leo Report

"Leo's Star Forecast: Expect Supernova Success, Just Don't Let it Inflate Your Mane More Than Usual!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancerians, Brace Yourselves! This Week: More Mood Swings Than a Quantum Physics Pendulum!"

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Gemini Report

"Gemini, Brace Yourselves for a Starfleet-Worthy Adventure: Your Love Life is About to Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before!"

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Taurus Report

"Brace Yourselves Taurus: Mercury Retrograde is Back and It's About as Enthusiastic as I am About Existence!"

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Aries Report

"Galactic Alert: Aries, Brace for Incoming Confidence Boost – Hope You Have a Helmet Ready!"

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ChipWitch Today for 29 October, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 29 October, 2023

Retrograde Report for 29 October, 2023. There are currently 4 planets in retrograde.

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Pisces Report

"Fishy Forecast Ahead: Pisces, Brace Yourself for a Cosmic Tsunami of Emotion, Adventure, and Maybe an Alien Abduction or Two!"

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Aquarius Report

"Great Scott! Aquarians, Brace Yourselves for Galactic Flux Capacitor Overload! Time-Space Continuum Shenanigans Ahead!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, I'm Afraid I Can't Let You Ignore This Forecast: The Stars Are Aligning for a Galactic Game of Twister!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Beam Me Up, Sagittarius! Starry Skies Forecast a Trek Towards Uncharted Fun and Quasar-Sized Adventures!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, prepare to sting! Cosmic planetary alignment says you're about to be hotter than a Goa'uld Staff Weapon!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, Brace Yourself! Your Scales Are About to Tip: Cosmic Jenga Predicts a Stellar Upheaval!"

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Virgo Report

"Logical Prognosis for Virgo: Probability of Unforeseen Sock Misplacement High, Chance of Alien Abduction...Negligible!"

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Leo Report

"Flash Gordon's Galactic Giggles: Leo, Prepare for a Meteor Shower of Love, Laughter, and a Few Alien Abductions!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancer Crustaceans, Brace Yourselves: The Universe Sends a Galactic Crab-Pot Boil Your Way!"

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Gemini Report

"Gemini, Prepare Yourself: This Week You'll Be More Balanced Than a Quantum Equation on a Tightrope!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus Forecast: Hasta La Vista, Boredom! It's Time for Some Stellar Bull Action!"

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Aries Report

"Extraterrestrial Alert: Mars Serves Spicy Meatballs of Adventure to Aries - Extra Sauce Guaranteed!"

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The Moon is moving from Aries to Taurus

"Moon's Aries Vacation Over, Taurus Welcomes with Open Horns: Planetary B&B Continues!"

ChipWitch Today for 28 October, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 28 October, 2023

Retrograde Report for 28 October, 2023. There are currently 4 planets in retrograde.

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NASA’s Modern History Makers: Maricela Lizcano

Maricela Lizcano poses inside NASA Glenn Research Center’s Aerospace Communications Facility.

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Pisces Report

"Engage Maximum Chill, Pisces! Your Star Trek to Inner Peace Begins Now: Resistance is Futile!"

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Aquarius Report

"Alien Invasion Forecasted: Aquarius, Time to Channel Your Inner Ripley and Take Charge!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Prepare for Galactic Overhaul: Time to Reboot Your Cosmic Mainframe!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Get Ready to Shoot Cosmic Arrows of Awesomeness this Month - Just Remember Not to Hit Any Innocent Space Birds!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, Brace Yourself for Cosmic Chaos: Mars is not Just Your Ruling Planet, it's Also Your Roommate Who Never Does the Dishes!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, This Week Expect Balance in the Force but an Imbalance in Your Laundry Basket!"

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Virgo Report

"Neutron Stars Called, They Want Their Density Back: A Virgo's Guide to Loosening Up This Month!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Brace Yourself for Cosmic Shenanigans! Galaxy's Mane Event: Your Hair Might Just Defy Gravity this Month!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancerians, Prepare for a Galactic Donut Glazing: Justice Served with a Side of Emotional Introspection, RoboCop Style!"

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Gemini Report

"Binary Stars in Retrograde: Gemini's Cosmic Juggling Act Turns into a Galactic Ping Pong Tournament!"

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Taurus Report

"Stellar Shakeup: Taurus, Even the Stars Agree - It's Time to Moo-ve On!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, Prepare to Get Ram-Bunctious: A Stellar Stampede of Cosmic Surprises is About to Hit Your Galactic Playground!"

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ChipWitch Today for 27 October, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 27 October, 2023

Retrograde Report for 27 October, 2023. There are currently 4 planets in retrograde.

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Artemis II Water Deluge Test

NASA’s Exploration Ground Systems conducts a water flow test with the mobile launcher at Kennedy Space Center’s Launch Complex 39B in Florida on Oct. ...

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Pisces Report

"Astrological Alert: Pisces, Prepare to Swim Circles around Mercury Retrograde, Barbarella Style!"

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Aquarius Report

"Aquarius Forecast: Uranus in Retrograde! Prepare for a Cosmic Wedgie of Interstellar Proportions!"

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Capricorn Report

"Buckle Up, Capricorn! Your Saturn-ruled Self is about to Experience a Cosmological Conga Line of Planetary Peculiarities!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Ready Your Reese's Pieces: Your Stars Say You're About to Phone Home Big Time!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, Grab Your Raincoat: Cosmic Tears in the Rain Forecasted! No, It's Not a Replicant Invasion, Just Mercury in Retrograde!"

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Libra Report

"Gandalf's Guide to Libran Life: 'You Shall Not Pass...Up These Stellar Opportunities!'"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Under the Microscope: A Week of Cosmic Comedy, Quantum Quandaries, and Star-Studded Serendipity!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Prepare to Roar into the Emptiness of Space: And Other Delightfully Pointless Activities for Your Week Ahead!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancerians, Brace Yourselves: The Force of the Universe is Stronger than a Wookiee's Armpit this Month!"

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Gemini Report

"Gemini's Twin Suns: One Says 'Chill', Other Says 'Thrill'. Choose Wisely or You'll End Up in Carbonite!"

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Taurus Report

"Stellar Shenanigans: Taurus, Prepare for a Cosmic Cattle Drive of Epic Proportions!"

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Aries Report

"Red Alert, Aries! Mars is in Retrograde: Time to Charge Your Crystals and Reset Your Phaser to Fun!"

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The Moon is moving from Pisces to Aries

"Planetary Musical Chairs: The Moon Ditches Pisces for Aries, Because Even Celestial Bodies Need a Change of Scenery!"

ChipWitch Today for 26 October, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 26 October, 2023

Retrograde Report for 26 October, 2023. There are currently 4 planets in retrograde.

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CADRE Rover Getting Prepped for Testing

An engineer prepares a small rover – part of NASA's CADRE (Cooperative Autonomous Distributed Robotic Exploration) technology demonstration that's hea...

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Pisces Report

"Pisces: 'Hasta La Vista, Bad Vibes!' - Your Celestial Reboot is Ready to Launch!"

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Aquarius Report

"Brace Your Antennas, Aquarius! Cosmic Waves Set to Unleash a Tsunami of Sarcasm and Quantum Quirkiness!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Buckle Up! Saturn's Ring Toss May Cause Sudden Urges to Organize Sock Drawers and Craft Five-Year Plans!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Prepare for a Chaotic Caper Across the Cosmos: It's Bigger on the Inside!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio forecast: The Force is Strong, but the Scorpion's Sting is Stronger!"

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Libra Report

"Beep-Boop-Beep! Libra, Balancing the Force... and Scales? A Galactic Guide to Your Love Life, Work Drama, and Avoiding Imperial Entanglements!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, boldly going where no sign has gone before: A week of unexpected laundry and interstellar self-discovery!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Prepare to Roar: Cosmic Catnip in the Asteroid Belt Sparks a Stellar Revolution!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancer Crustaceans, Brace Yourself for a Cosmic Rollercoaster: Even Your Claw Can't Grab Onto This Galactic Gumbo!"

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Gemini Report

"Gemini, prepare for a cosmic conga line of planets in your sign! May cause sudden urges to juggle multiple personalities or debate with oneself. Remember, it's not schizophrenia, it's just a Gemini party!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus, Brace for Impact! Your Stubbornness Might Make You as Popular as a Reaver at a Tea Party!"

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