"Resistance is Futile, Pisces! Lunar Alignments Plan a Full-On Borg Invasion of Good Vibes!"

"Galactic Shenanigans: Aquarius, Prepare to Unravel the Quantum Twists of Your Love Life!"

"Capricorns, Brace Yourselves: Saturn's Ringing Your Doorbell Ready for a Cosmic Cuppa...and Maybe a Bit of Karmic Housecleaning!"

"Sagittarius, Time to Realign Your Cosmic Arrows; The Universe Hasn't Been This Confused Since the Big Bang!"

"Scorpio, Prepare for a Galactic Rumble: Mars Enters Retrograde and Your Love Life Could Use a Goa'uld Shield!"

"Libra, prepare to balance the cosmic scales as Mercury retrogrades into your sign: It's like a celestial seesaw with a dash of quantum physics!"

"Virgo, Buckle Up! Mercury's Doing the Macarena in Your House of Chaos!"

"Leo, Prepare to Roar: Galactic Catnip and Quantum Hairballs Forecasted for Your Astrological Playground!"

"Cosmic Claws at the Ready, Crabs! Galactic Bake-Off Approaching with Mercury Buttering Your Bread on Both Sides!"

"Gemini, Prepare for Twin-Peak Shenanigans: Mercury Retrogrades, Your Doppelganger Takes the Wheel!"

"Stellar Bull-Market Ahead! Taurus, Grab Your Galactic Overalls - It's Time to Plow the Cosmic Fields of Fortune!"

"Aries, Prepare for a Cosmic Kerfuffle: Mars is in Retrograde and It's Misplaced Its Spectacles!"

Safety is important, no matter where you're viewing the eclipse. NASA astronauts aboard the International Space Station show off their eclipse glasses...

"Engage, Pisces! Warp Speed Ahead Towards a Nebula of Nostalgia, But Don't Forget to Set Your Phasers to Fun!"

"Planetary Puzzles and Galactic Giggles: Aquarius, Brace Yourself for a Cosmic Roller Coaster of Quantum Quirks!"

"Capricorn: Prepare for a Cosmic Goat-cha! Planets Align to Stir Your Inner Nerd – It's Time to Break out the Pocket Protectors!"

"Sagittarius, Brace Yourselves! Jupiter's Having a Midlife Crisis, So Expect Cosmic Mood Swings!"

"Cheer Up, Scorpio, It's Not Like Your Planetary Alignment Is Worse Than Being Stuck On A Vogon Spaceship!"

"Libra, Brace Your Phasers for Balance! Cosmic Scales Tip in Favor of Love and...Tribbles?"

"Virgo Vibes: Time to Organize Your Socks, Double-Check Your Spreadsheets, and Channel That Inner Cosmic Nerd Energy!"

"Leo, Remember - You've Got The Mane of a Lion, Not Chewbacca: Time for a Cosmic Haircut!"

"Crabwalk Through Time: Cancerians Brace for a Cosmic Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey Adventure!"

"Gemini, Prepare Your Lightsabers: Galactic Twists and Hyperdrive Mood Swings Ahead!"

"Bullish Taurus, Your Week is More Balanced than a Particle in Quantum Superposition - But Watch Out For Those Unexpected Neutron Waves!"

"Galactic Forecast Alert: Aries, Prepare to Ram-ble Through the Universe with Mars in Your Corner, Extra Coffee Advised!"

"Pisces, Brace Yourself: The Universe Decided to Throw a Cosmic Disco Party and You're the Glitter Ball!"

"Brace Yourself, Aquarius! A Cosmic Tsunami of Quasar Quirkiness is Quantum Leaping Your Way!"

"Steady as a Mountain Goat, You Will Be: Capricorn's Galactic Forecast, It Is!"

"Sagittarius, Get Ready to Build Bridges, Not Walls - Your Stars Say It's Negotiation Time!"

"Scorpio, Probability of Love Rising Faster Than the Millennium Falcon on Hyperdrive!"

"Libra: Your Scale is Tipping Towards Joy, So Buckle Up Your Vulcan Seatbelts!"

"Virgo, Prepare for an Alien Invasion of Productivity: Your Organizational Skills Have the Galactic Council Taking Notes!"

"Leos, Brace Yourselves! Universe 'Mane'-tains Perfect Hair Day Forecast with a Chance of Supernova Egos!"

"Cancer, the Crab: Ditching the Shell for Some Interstellar Tango with Mars – No Claw Holding Allowed!"

"Twins, Unite! Gemini's Guide to Galactic Dominance- Now With 100% More Quasar Quips!"

"Stellar Bull Market Ahead: Taurus Set to Charge Through the Cosmic China Shop of Life!"

"Brace Yourselves, Earthlings! The Moon's Packing Up Its Arrow and Goat Gear as It Road Trips from Sagittarius to Capricorn!"

"Aries, Strap On Your Rocket Boots: Mars is in Retrograde and It's Time to Defy Gravity!"

"Pisces, Prepare to Swim Through Cosmic Jello: It's Time for An Out-of-this-Galaxy Adventure!"

"Exterminate Your Doubts, Aquarius! Galactic Shifts Herald an Invasion of Positivity!"

"Capricorn, Buckle Up: Saturn's Ring Tossing You a Curveball of Galactic Proportions!"

"Sagittarius, Prepare to Pucker up: Jupiter's Swinging into Your Orbit, and It's Bringing Galactic Mistletoe!"

"Scorpio, Brace Yourself! Mars is Not Just a Chocolate Bar Anymore, It's Influencing Your Love Life Too!"

"Libra: Brace Your Scales! The Universe is Tipping Towards a Cosmic Comedic Cacophony - Perfect Weather for Balancing Checkbooks!"