Aries Report

"Aries, Beware: Fiery Mars Aligns with Your Zany Cosmic Shenanigans - Prepare for an Out-of-this-World Adventure!"

Tags:

The Moon is moving from Cancer to Leo

"Brace Yourselves, Earthlings! The Moon's Shifting from Cosmic Crab to Galactic Lion - A Timey-Wimey Astro-Adventure Awaits!"

ChipWitch Today for 26 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 26 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 26 April, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
Tags:

Pisces Report

"Welcome to the Piscean Chronicles: Rise of the Fishes - A Splashy Odyssey of Love, Emojis, and Galactic Good Vibes, Starring You!"

Tags:

Aquarius Report

"E.T. Phones Home: Aquarius, Time to Beam Up Your Cosmic Connections and Phone in Those Stellar Vibes!"

Tags:

Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Brace Yourselves for Galactic Giggles as the Stars Align to Turn Your Life into a Frakkin' Cosmic Comedy!"

Tags:

Sagittarius Report

"Sag-astrophic: Hasta la Vista, Baby! This Month's Astro Forecast Promises Adventure and Judgement-Free Vibes for Sagittarians"

Tags:

Libra Report

"Libras Rejoice (Or Don't, It's All Futile Anyway): Balancing Act of Cosmic Chaos Awaits Your Approval...Not That It Matters in the Grand Scheme of Existence"

Tags:

Virgo Report

"Virgo, This Week You'll Clean Up Your Bounty Like Boba Fett Cleans Up the Galaxy!"

Tags:

Leo Report

"Leo, Hold Onto Your Manes! Cosmic Hairballs and Intergalactic Catnip Ahead in This Roaring Astrological Expedition!"

Tags:
leo

Gemini Report

"Double the Trouble, Double the Fun: Gemini's Forecast Promises a Whirlwind of Tweets and Tremendous Cosmic Chaos!" - The Intergalactic Prez

Tags:

Taurus Report

"Taureans, Moo-ve Over! Planetary Smorgasbord Brings Cosmic Cows to Your Pasture of Love and Recycling!"

Tags:

Aries Report

"Captain's Log, Stardate Aries: Ramming Into Galactic Hilarity with Warp-Speed Wit!"

Tags:

ChipWitch Today for 25 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 25 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 25 April, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
Tags:

Celebrating Earth Day

Former NASA Administrator Charlie Bolden speaks with local students during an Earth Day event, Thursday, April 20, 2023, at Union Station in Washingto...

Continue reading
Tags:

Pisces Report

"Pisces, prepare to swim in a cosmic sea of chuckles as Mercury retro-sushi rolls into town – perfect timing for groovy fishfolk to channel their inner Nemo!"

Tags:

Aquarius Report

"Galactic Groove Alert! Aquarius, prepare to trip the cosmic light fantastic as Uranus moonwalks into retrograde, man!"

Tags:

Capricorn Report

"Capricorns Unite! Galactic Goats to Conquer the Cosmos with Cosmic Karma and an Undeniable Knack for Space Hula Hooping!"

Tags:

Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: Time to Shoot for the Stars, Just Like Roy Batty's Unicorn Dreams in a Galaxy Far, Far Groovy!"

Tags:

Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Stings the Stars: Galactic Gateways Open for Intergalactic Shenanigans and Wormhole Wanderlust this Month!"

Tags:

Libra Report

"Libra, prepare for cosmic balance as Sam Bell reveals: Scales tip in your favor, or are those just moon tacos?"

Tags:

Virgo Report

"Virgo's Cosmic Clean-Up: Unraveling the Timey-Wimey Tangle of Planetary Energies, with a Side of Vegan Brownies!"

Tags:

Leo Report

"Leos, Prepare to Roar: The Cosmos Aligns for Galactic Catnip Highs and Interstellar Hairball Shenanigans!"

Tags:
leo

Cancer Report

"Alert, Alert! Cancer Crustaceans, Prepare to Pinch Yourselves: Astro-Blast of Galactic Giggles Approaching!"

Tags:

Gemini Report

"Geminis, Hold Onto Your Space Pants! Cosmic Twists and Shiny Star Shenanigans Ahead!"

Tags:

Taurus Report

"Moovin' on Up! Taurus Transforms from Couch Potato to Celestial Superstar: Galactic Guidance or Just a Caffeine Buzz?"

Tags:

Aries Report

"Beep boop! Fiery Aries, prepare for a cosmic adventure as your ruling planet Mars enters the celestial hyperspace; intergalactic wisdom and lightsaber-wielding confidence await you! Oh, dear!"

Tags:

The Moon is moving from Gemini to Cancer

"Breaking Cosmic News: The Moon Ditches its Gemini Twin for a Cozy Crab Crib; Commander Sinclair Declares it 'The Ultimate Interstellar House Swap'!"

ChipWitch Today for 24 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Retrograde Report for 24 April, 2023

Retrograde Report for 24 April, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
Tags:

Pisces Report

"Ahoy, Pisces! Prepare to Dive into a Sea of Cosmic Shenanigans as the Universe Tickle Your Fins With a Galactic Feather!"

Tags:

Aquarius Report

"Attention Aquarians: Don't Panic! Infinite Improbability Drive Predicts a Stellar Week of Cosmic Synchronicities and an Unlikely Encounter with Vogon Poetry!"

Tags:

Capricorn Report

"Capricorn Capers: Cosmic Goat Parties in the Stars, as Planetary Alignments Bring Galactic Grooviness to the Earthly Realm!"

Tags:

Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Get Your Galactic Groove On: Cosmic Arrows Aim for Adventure and Out-of-This-World Laughs!"

Tags:

Scorpio Report

"Scorpio: Hasta La Vista, Baby! Prepare for a Sky-Netic Uprising in Your Stars this Month!"

Tags:

Libra Report

"Libra, prepare for cosmic harmony as scales tip in your favor! Just don't blink or you'll miss the planetary party bus to balance-ville!"

Tags:

Virgo Report

"Virgo Vibes: Time to Channel Your Inner OCD Space Elf as Planetary Alignments Promote Spotless Nebula Adventures!"

Tags:

Cancer Report

"Crabtastic Cosmic Chaos: Cancer's Karmic Kraziness Kicks Into Overdrive, Dreddfully Hilarious Horoscope Hijinks Ahead!"

Tags:

Gemini Report

"Double Trouble: Gemini's Hilarious Holographic Hijinks in the Stars – A Galactic Comedy Show for the Twins!"

Tags:

Taurus Report

"Shiny Taurus Forecast: Gorram Stars Align for Space Cows, Aimin' to Misbehave with Planetary Hoedowns!"

Tags:

Aries Report

"Aries, Hasta La Vista, Baby! Time to Terminate Stress and Embrace your Inner Cyberdyne Star Power!"

Tags:

ChipWitch Today for 23 April, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

Pisces Report

"Pisces, prepare to swim through a cosmic sea of replicant fish - Will you find your inner android or short circuit in existential confusion?"

Tags:

Aquarius Report

"Frakkin' Stars Align for Aquarius: Prepare for a Cylon-free, Cosmic Love-Invasion in Your Life Sector!"

Tags:

Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, buckle up for a wild cosmic ride: Escape from Boring-Ville or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Planets!"

Tags:

Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, prepare to gallop through a cosmic kaleidoscope of quirkiness: bow-wielding centaurs, questionable fashion choices, and the secrets of the universe!"

Tags:

Scorpio Report

"Ah, Scorpio! Prepare for a cosmic tango with destiny as the planets align like a celestial conga line!"

Tags:

Libra Report

"Libra, Prepare for Balance Overload as Venus Takes a Cosmic Swing Through Your Sign: Say Hello to Love and the Inevitable Laundry Pile!"

Tags: