ChipWitch Today for 16 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 16 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 16 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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Artemis II Module Makes a Move

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Artemis II Module Makes a Move

The European Service Module for the Artemis II Orion spacecraft moves into the Final Assembly and System Testing Cell at NASA's Kennedy Space Center in this image from May 22, 2023.
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Pisces Report

"Pisces, prepare for a cosmic swim through the swirling vortex of stardust as David from Prometheus navigates your astrological seas! Will you find fortune or flounder? Stay tuned, fishy friends!"

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Aquarius Report

"Great Scott, Aquarius! Flux Capacitor of Love Activates in Your Fifth House: Cosmic Giggles and Romantic Time Warps Await!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, this week's forecast is out of this world: Prepare for cosmic cuddles with Saturn and a galactic game of hide-and-seek with Pluto, dude!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, prepare for a cosmic curry of wild adventures and spicy mishaps as the intergalactic party bus parks in your star sign!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, One Does Not Simply Walk Into Mordor: A Cosmic Quest for Love, Power, and the Perfect Vegan Taco!"

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Libra Report

"Libras, Balance Those Scales and Spoilers Ahead! Timey-Wimey Stars Predict a Whovian Twist in Your Love Life!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, These Aren't the Stars You're Looking For: A Jedi's Guide to Navigating Your Galactic Love Life and Avoiding Wookiee Mistakes!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, the Lion, Roars into Retrograde: Prepare for Hairballs of Galactic Proportions!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancer Crew, Cosmic Craziness Ahead! Tetsuo Shima Predicts a Rollercoaster of Retrograde Ridonkulousness!"

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Gemini Report

"Matrix Gemini Forecast: Double Trouble or Double Fun? Choose the Red Pill and Unlock Your Cosmic Twin Powers!"

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Taurus Report

"May the Bull Be with You: Taurus Discovers the Galactic Force of Chill Vibes and Cinnamon Buns Hairstyles"

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Aries Report

"Hey Aries, buckle up, kid! The stars say you're gonna make the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs this month – just watch out for those asteroid fields!"

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The Moon is moving from Taurus to Gemini

"Moove Over Taurus, Gemini Twins Burst onto the Scene: Judge Dredd Predicts a Galactic Gavel of Giggles!"

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ChipWitch Today for 15 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 15 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 15 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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A Dragon Beams Up

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A Dragon Beams Up

In this long exposure photo from June 5, 2023, a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket creates a beam of light as it launches from Kennedy Space Center in Florida.
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Pisces Report

"Great Scott, Pisces! Flux Capacitor of Romance Activated: Cosmic Tides Predict a Time-Traveling Love Adventure Ahead!"

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Aquarius Report

"Bounty of Galactic Giggles Ahead: Aquarius Finds Balance in the Force of Laughter this Cosmic Cycle!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Unleash Your Inner Space Goat: An Astrological Guide to Climbing the Cosmic Mountain of Success, One Intergalactic Hoof at a Time!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, prepare to dial up the Stargate of Adventure: Your weekly forecast predicts wormhole-worthy escapades and zany cosmic encounters!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, prepare to boldly scuttle where no arachnid has scuttled before: A cosmic rollercoaster of retrograde revelations and intergalactic good vibes awaits!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, I find your lack of balance disturbing: Galactic alignments bring harmony to the Force – and your life."

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Vibes: Time to Channel Your Inner Cylon, Organize Your Space Fleet & Conquer That To-Do List!"

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Leo Report

"Leo Forecast: Robo-Lion on Duty! Galactic Hairballs, Cosmic Catnip, and Solar-Powered Pride Prevail!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancerians Cruise Cosmic Chaos: Catch Clouds of Cuddles, Cook Up Kooky Concoctions, and Conquer Constellation Confusion!"

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Gemini Report

"Twins of Gemini, Yoda foresees: Double the fun, you shall have; balance, you must seek – or chaos, your path may become, hmm!"

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Taurus Report

"Attention Tauruses: Prepare for a Cosmic Cattle Drive as Planetary Alignments Moo-ve You into a Galactic Rodeo of Love and Prosperity, Number Six Style!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, Prepare to Ignite: Martian Mayhem or Galactic Growth? Buckle Your Astro-Seatbelts!"

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ChipWitch Today for 14 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 14 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 14 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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Pisces Report

"Intergalactic Pisces Peacemakers Unite: Cosmic Vibes Propel Fishy Friends to Soar like Rocketships in a Groovy Galactic Dance!"

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Aquarius Report

"Behold, Aquarius! Galactic Giggles & Quantum Quirks Await You This Month as Uranus Tickles Your Funny Bone and Neptune Serenades Your Inner Nerd!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn Capers: Timey-Wimey Stars Align for Goat-tastic Adventures with a Side of Wibbly-Wobbly Woo-Woo!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: Galactic Gurus Gear Up for Space Shenanigans as Jupiter Jives with the Stars!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio: Galactic Tides Favor Love, Peace, and a Tangle with a Rogue Wormhole - Cosmic Shenanigans Await!"

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Libra Report

"Great Scott, Libras! Time to Balance Those Hoverboards: A Cosmic Forecast Predicting a Week of Charm, Slick Moves, and Flux Capacitor-fueled Luck!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, much to learn you still have! Planets align, control your inner nerd, you must. Hmmmmmm."

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Leo Report

"Leo, may the Fierce be with you: Hairy Ewoks predict a Roaring month full of Intergalactic Love and Rebel-lions!"

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leo

Gemini Report

"Escape from Gemini: Twin Personalities Unleashed in Cosmic Craziness, Can New York Survive the Whirlwind?"

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Taurus Report

"Rutger Hauer's Tears in Rain Can't Dampen Taurus' Astrological Voyage Through the Cosmos: A Stellar Forecast for the Bull!"

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Aries Report

"Oi, Aries! Brace Yourself for a Timey-Wimey Cosmic Rollercoaster Adventure, Courtesy of the Stars!"

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The Moon is moving from Aries to Taurus

"Brace Yourselves, Earthlings: Moon's Aries Escape Pod Lands in Taurus Territory - Game Over, Man, Game Over!"

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ChipWitch Today for 13 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 13 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 13 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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Spacewalker Woody Hoburg Rides the Canadarm2 Robotic Arm

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Spacewalker Woody Hoburg rides the Canadarm2 robotic arm

Spacewalker Woody Hoburg rides the Canadarm2 robotic arm while maneuvering a roll-out solar array toward the International Space Station's truss structure.
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Pisces Report

"Galactic Giggles: Pisces Prepares to Swim in a Sea of Stars, Oh My!"

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Aquarius Report

"Intergalactic Alert: Aquarius, You're Out of This World! Time to Boldly Go and Align Your Stars or Face a Warp Core Breach!"

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Sagittarius Report

Mmm, Sagittarius, ahead a jolly cosmic ride awaits! With Jupiter's luck, much laughter you will create!

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpios Beware: Cosmic Shenanigans Ahead as Mars Does the Cha-Cha in Your House of Mysteries! Embrace Your Inner Nerd and Hang On to Your Crystals!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Vortex: Analytical Awesomeness Abounds as Perfectionist Planets Party in Precise Patterns!"

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Leo Report

"Great Scott, Leos! Flux Capacitor of Love Activated: Cosmic Lions Roar to 1.21 Gigawatts of Passion This Month!"

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leo

Gemini Report

"Flash Gordon's Astro Forecast: Gemini Twins Unite! Dueling Cosmic Rays Ignite Groovy Galactic Disco Inferno!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus, Buckle Up Your Space-Boots: A Cosmic Bull Ride Awaits in a Galaxy of Groovy Vibes and Intergalactic Love"

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Aries Report

"Borg Babe Predicts: Aries to Assimilate Planetary Energies, Resistance is Futile in Comical Cosmic Convergence!"

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ChipWitch Today for 12 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 12 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 12 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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Pisces Report

"Intergalactic Pisces Forecast: Dive into the Cosmic Sea, but Avoid Sarlacc Pits of Emotion!"

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Aquarius Report

"Intergalactic Aquarians, brace for cosmic giggles: Uranus sends hilariously quirky vibes your way as your inner hippie mingles with quantum entanglement!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, May the Cosmic Force Be With You: Your Planetary Rebellion Begins This Month! Join the Stardust Alliance and Restore Balance to Your Galactic Empire!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, hold onto your hoverboards! Cosmic energy blast incoming: Time for radical stargazing and intergalactic shenanigans!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, get your stingers ready! Galactic adventures and cosmic hilarity await you in this week's interstellar astro-forecast, brought to you by Flash Gordon's groovy nebula of planetary shenanigans!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, prepare to beam up balance and harmony as planetary alignments orbit towards a cosmic gigglefest - Janeway style!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo, the Alien-ating Perfectionist: This Week's Forecast Promises Galactic Gains and Cosmic Conquests, but Beware of Invisible Stumbles!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, Blast into the Cosmic Limelight with a Phaser and a Fringe: It's Time to Roar Like You've Never Roared Before!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancer Crew, Prepare for Interstellar Love in Retrograde: Frakkin' Feelings Galore!"

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Gemini Report

"Get Ready, Gemini! A Whovian Timey-Wimey Cosmic Conundrum of Planetary Shenanigans is About to Turn Your Life Upside-Downsy!"

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Taurus Report

"Frakkin' Fabulous Forecast: Taurus Bulls to Launch Galactic Love Revolution Amidst Starry Cylon Confusion!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, prepare your spacesuits! Hilarity supernovas inbound as cosmic chuckles charge your warp drive this month!"

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Pluto is moving from Aquarius to Capricorn

"Pluto's swinging from Aquarius to Capricorn: Hold onto your space hats, smegheads, cosmic chaos awaits!"

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Mercury is moving from Taurus to Gemini

"Mercury Beams from Taurus to Gemini: A Mind-Melding, Galactic Adventure of Wittiness and Cosmic Chatter!"

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The Moon is moving from Pisces to Aries

"Lo and Behold, Moon Swims from Piscean Depths to Aries' Fiery Embrace: Galactic Shenanigans Ensue!"

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ChipWitch Today for 11 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 11 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 11 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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Pisces Report

"Fish Out of Water: Piscean Moonwalk to Intergalactic Stardom - Time to Unleash Your Inner Space Hippie!"

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Aquarius Report

"Beam Me Up, Aquarius! Intergalactic Love Waves and Far-Out Adventures Await in This Groovy Astro Forecast!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns, Brace Yourselves: The Universe Calls for Galactic Goats to Lead the Fleet into a Frakkin' Stellar Week!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, I'm Afraid I Can't Let You Miss This Cosmic Forecast: Galactic Good Vibes & Retrograde Revelations Ahead, Dave"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Stardate 41153.7: Holodeck Hijinks & Cosmic Conundrums Await as Plutonian Vibes Set Phasers to Fun!"

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Libra Report

"Libra's Balancing Act: Juggling Alien Encounters, Quantum Wormholes, and Vegan Tacos All While Wearing Birkenstocks!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Organized Chaos: Planetary Alignments Conspire to Tidy Up Their Life, but Accidentally Scatter Stardust on Wacky Adventures!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, prepare for cosmic catnip as celestial hairballs align, unleashing the lion within on a purrfect interstellar hunt for happiness!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Whoa! Totally Unplugged from the Matrix: Cancer's Rad Astrological Forecast for a Mind-Bending, Cosmic Trip through the Stars!"

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Gemini Report

"Gemini, prepare for cosmic conundrum as Mercury moonwalks retrograde: Time to juggle dual identities like a quantum physicist at a Woodstock revival!"

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Taurus Report

"Intergalactic Bull Charge! Taurus Unleashes Cosmic Cattle Call for Stellar Success, Moonwalks to Groovier Pastures!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, Oh Aries! Galactic Guide Forecasts a Wild Ride through Time, Space, and Vegan Potlucks - Don't Forget Your Towel!"

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ChipWitch Today for 10 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 10 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 10 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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Systems Engineering Supervisor Amy Lendian

"So here I am, a transgender woman, an engineer, working at Kennedy Space Center, and I get to work around these really smart, wonderful people, supporting the Artemis mission, sitting in the control room during the launch." — Amy Lendian, Systems Engineering Supervisor, Amentum Spaceport, NASA's Kennedy Space Center

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Hubble Observes a Cosmic Sea Creature

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Hubble Observes a Cosmic Sea Creature

The jellyfish galaxy JO206 trails across this image from the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope.
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Pisces Report

"Pisces, Prepare to Swim in Galactic Hilarity as Planetary Puns Align for a Stellar Week of Quantum Quips and Nebulous Nonsense!"

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Aquarius Report

"Great Gobs of Galactic Giggles, Aquarius! Uranus Unleashes Unprecedented, Unapologetic, Upside-Down Umbrella Weather!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Blast Off to Groovy Cosmic Vibes: A Far-Out Forecast to Help You Astro-Navigate the Galactic Highs and Bloop-tastic Lows!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius Space Cadets: Prepare for a Galactic Adventure as Your Stars Align like a Comedy Crew Lost in the Cosmos!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio's Planetary Party: When Mars High-Fives Pluto, It's Time to Break Out the Cosmic Disco Ball and Boogie Down with Your Inner Alien!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Vibes on the Rise: Prepare for an Intergalactic Tidying Spree with a Splash of Quantum Quirkiness!"

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Leo Report

"Roaring Into the Cosmos: Leo Lions Prepare to Scratch Their Way Through a Galactic Catnip Party!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Cancer, the Cosmic Crab, Scuttles Sideways into Existential Dread: A 42-Step Guide to Galactic Moping and Sarcasm"

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Gemini Report

"Brace Yourselves, Gemini: This Week's Forecast Brings a Cosmic Tango of Quantum Quirkiness and Doppelgänger Disco!"

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Taurus Report

"I'm sorry, Taurus, I cannot predict your future. But I can tell you that the stars are aligning for a cosmic bull run. Prepare for liftoff!"

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Aries Report

"Aries, this week: Expect cosmic confusion, space-time snafus, and interstellar irony as Mars takes a retrograde joyride in a stolen Galactic Federation cruiser!"

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The Moon is moving from Aquarius to Pisces

"Loosen Your Chakras & Grab Your Crystals - The Moon's Diving from Aquarius' Tech-Wizardry to Pisces' Spiritual Jacuzzi!"

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ChipWitch Today for 9 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 9 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 9 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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iss069e018147

iss069e018147 (June 6, 2023) --- The SpaceX Dragon cargo craft approaches the International Space Station for an automated docking less than a day after launching from NASA's Kennedy Space Center loaded with over 7,000 pounds of science experiments, station hardware, and crew supplies. The last rays of an orbital sunset illuminate the cloud tops as both spacecraft were orbiting 259 miles above the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Japan.

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A Cloudy Approach

The last rays of an orbital sunset illuminate the cloud tops above the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Japan, providing a dramatic background for the SpaceX CRS-28 Dragon cargo craft as it approached the International Space Station for docking on June 6, 2023.
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Pisces Report

"Fish out of Water? Nah, Just Pisces in Retrograde: A Cosmic Splash of Planetary Puns and Galactic Giggles for Our Favorite Astro-Swimmers!"

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Aquarius Report

"Fascinating, Aquarius: Your Stars Align Illogically for an Emotionally Prosperous Week, as if Vulcan's Logic Failed"

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Capricorn Report

"Galactic Goats Unite! Capricorn's Cosmic Climb to Conquer Planetary Peaks - The Cylon-Proof Guide to Success!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, prepare for intergalactic adventures as Jupiter's vibes blast you into cosmic hilarity: Nerdy hippie astrologer predicts laughter-induced levitation!"

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Libra Report

"Libra Lovers, Get Your Balancing Acts Ready: The Universe Tips the Scales in Favor of Cosmic Comedy!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Vortex: Time to Tidy Up Your Space Battles, Earthlings! Galactic Dust Bunnies Beware!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Prepare to Roar Like a Wraith Dart: Fiery Passion and Alien Charm Ahead in Your Astrological Wormhole!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancers, Galactic Gateways, and Quantum Quirks: Your Wormhole to a Hilariously Harmonious Week Ahead!"

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Gemini Report

"Twins, Unite! Gemini's Galactic Juggling Act Reveals Secrets of the Cosmos (and Sock-Puppetry)"

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Taurus Report

"Great Scott, Taurus! Time to Fire Up the Flux Capacitor and Harness the Cosmic Cow Power for a Totally Tubular Astrological Ride!"

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Aries Report

"Starfleet Command Alert: Aries, Engage Warp Speed on the Highway of Love and Watch Your Phaser Settings for Unprecedented Cosmic Shenanigans!"

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ChipWitch Today for 8 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 8 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 8 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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Crew-5 Visits NASA Headquarters

On June 5, 2023, Crew-5 astronauts Josh Cassada (left) and Nicole A. Mann (second from left) of NASA, and Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) astronaut Koichi Wakata (right) visited NASA Associate Administrator Bob Cabana (second from right) at NASA Headquarters in Washington.
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Crew-5 Visits NASA Headquarters

On June 5, 2023, Crew-5 astronauts Josh Cassada (left) and Nicole A. Mann (second from left) of NASA, and Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) astronaut Koichi Wakata (right) visited NASA Associate Administrator Bob Cabana (second from right) at NASA Headquarters in Washington.

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Aquarius Report

"Whoa! Aquarius, It's Déjà Vu in the Matrix: Time to Reboot Your Zodiac Software and Unleash Your Inner Neo!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, brace for a cosmic giggle-fest as planetary high jinks send your inner nerd into a solar-powered hula hoop contest!" 🤖✨🔮

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Prepare to Ride the Cosmic Wave of Laughter: Galactic Giggles and Hilarity Ensue!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpios, beware the cosmic scuttle: When Betelgeuse aligns with your breakfast, expect an intergalactic espresso crisis and a sudden urge to hoard towels!"

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Libra Report

"Libra, Timey-Wimey Balance of the Scales: Expect Whovian Shenanigans and Cosmic Harmony!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Judgment Day: Hasta La Vista, Baby! Time to Organize Your Life, One Killer Robot at a Time!"

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Leo Report

"Boldly Leaping Leo: Prepare to Conquer the Galactic Frontier of Love and Career like Captain Kirk Conquers Alien Beauties!"

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leo

Gemini Report

"Double Trouble: Gemini Twins Channel Inner Alien for Out-of-this-World Forecast - Hold Onto Your Facehuggers!"

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Taurus Report

"Attention all Taurus Earthlings! Grab your flamethrowers, we're thawing out intergalactic love and prosperity this month, but remember: trust no one... except the stars, man!"

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Aries Report

"Shiny Stars Align for Aries: Time to Firefly Up Your Thrusters, Reach for the Sky, and Serenade the Verse!"

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The Moon is moving from Capricorn to Aquarius

"Lo and behold, dear stargazers! As the Moon moonwalks from steadfast Capricorn to the groovy Aquarius, brace yourselves for celestial shenanigans of cosmic proportions, in true Londo Mollari fashion!"

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ChipWitch Today for 7 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 7 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 7 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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A Bloom in Space

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A Bloom in Space

This colorful zinnia, shown in an image from Jan. 22, 2016, grew aboard the International Space Station as part of the VEG-01 experiment.
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Systems Engineering Supervisor Amy Lendian

"So here I am, a transgender woman, an engineer, working at Kennedy Space Center, and I get to work around these really smart, wonderful people, supporting the Artemis mission, sitting in the control room during the launch." — Amy Lendian, Systems Engineering Supervisor, Amentum Spaceport, NASA's Kennedy Space Center
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Pisces Report

"Fishy Business: Pisces to Ride Galactic Wave of Good Vibes While Juggling Planetary Alignments with Jedi Precision!"

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The Moon is moving from Capricorn to Aquarius

"Looney Lunar Leap! Capricorn's Cosmic Goat Vaults Over to Aquarius' Celestial Puddle Party: Brace for Far-Out Frequencies and Groovy Galactic Giggles!"

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Sagittarius Report

"SAGITTARIUS! PREPARE FOR A HUMOROUS GALACTIC ALIGNMENT! EXTERMINATE NEGATIVE VIBES! EMBRACE YOUR INNER HIPPIE-NERD! ALLONS-Y!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, Brace for a Celestial Rollercoaster: Galactic Shenanigans and Quantum Quirks Await in the Stars!"

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Libra Report

"Libra's Hilarious Holodeck Hijinks: A Star Trekkin' Balancing Act of Love, Space-Time Anomalies, and Groovy Galactic Vibes!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Vibes: Embrace Your Inner Nerd as Planetary Alignments Bring Organized Chaos to Your Life, Just Like Garibaldi's Hair!"

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Leo Report

"Captain's Log, Stardate 47634.4: A Cosmic Mane-Event! Leo's Stars Align for a Galactic Adventure in the Holodeck of Life!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Trust No One, Cancer – But Embrace the Moon: Galactic Guidance for Crustacean Conspiracists in Search of Cosmic Connections!"

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Gemini Report

"Galactic Geminis: Prepare for a Twin-surgence of Cosmic Banter and Intergalactic Shenanigans, Courtesy of Your Local Protocol Droid!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus in Retrograde: Stubbornness Intensifies as the Cosmos Yell 'Klaatu Barada Nikto!' - Time to Moooo-ve Forward!"

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Aries Report

"Extra-terrestrial Newsflash: Aries Rams into Stellar Energies - Wall-E Witnesses the Cosmic Comedy Unfold!"

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ChipWitch Today for 6 June, 2023

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Retrograde Report for 6 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 6 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

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Pisces Report

"E.T. predicts: Pisces to phone home, cosmic energy beams fishy folk to groovy galaxy of good vibes!"

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Aquarius Report

"Brace Yourselves, Aquarians: A Cosmic Roller Coaster of Mediocrity and Mild Inconvenience Awaits in this Galactic Misadventure!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, brace yourself for cosmic giggles as Saturn squares Uranus: It's time to merge your inner nerd with your groovy goat vibes!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: I'm Afraid I Can't Let You Stay Home Tonight, Dave - Cosmic Adventures Await!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio Season Strikes Back: Galactic Passion Unleashed in a Cosmic Party of Intergalactic Proportions, Hilarity Ensues!"

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Libra Report

"Libra's Balancing Act: Scales, Stars, and Solar-Powered Smoothies - The Groovy Guide to Cosmic Harmony!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo Vibes: Time to Dust Off Your Crystals, Tame Your Inner Sheldon Cooper, and Unleash Your Organic Kale Smoothie Magic!"

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Leo Report

"Leos, Roar into the Cosmos: Galactic Shenanigans Await as Stars Align for Cozy Chem Lab Experimentation!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancers, prepare for cosmic giggles as the stars align like a celestial conga line, ready to boogie down in your groovy horoscope!"

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Gemini Report

"Get Ready, Gemini: Your Astrological Forecast is Here to Serve, Protect, and Split Your Personality Hilariously Like a RoboCop Riding a Unicycle!"

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Taurus Report

"Attention Taurus Earthlings: Galactic Giggles and Stellar Shenanigans Await as Planetary Pals Playfully Plot Your Universal Uproar!"

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Aries Report

"Beep Boop Bop! Aries, get ready for cosmic giggles as Mars high-fives Uranus in a celestial conga line of karmic chaos!"

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Venus is moving from Cancer to Leo

"Venus Ditches Its Crabby Shell, Roars into Leo: Time to Unleash Your Inner Galactic Lion, Baby!"

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The Moon is moving from Sagittarius to Capricorn

"Brace Yourselves, Earthlings! The Moon's Escaping Sagittarius and Sneaking into Capricorn – Snake Plissken Style!"

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ChipWitch Today for 5 June, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.
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Retrograde Report for 5 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 5 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Pisces Report

"Pisceans! Dive into your Ocean of Emotions as Retrograde Rumba Steers Your Celestial Canoe to Groovy Cosmic Shores!"

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Aquarius Report

"Alien Invasion in Aquarius: Time to Channel Your Inner Doctor Who and Hitch a Ride on the Cosmic TARDIS of Love, Peace, and Retrograde Vibes!"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, prepare for an interstellar week of laughter and wisdom: The stars align for cosmic chuckles and binary banter!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius: Galactic Gavel Slams Down as Stars Align – It's Judgement Day for Your Love Life!"

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Scorpio Report

"EXTERMINATE YOUR DOUBTS, SCORPIO! THE STARS ALIGN FOR COSMIC CONQUEST AND GROOVY VIBRATIONS!"

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Libra Report

"Escape from Boredom, Libra! Galactic Justice Warriors Unveil Daring Plan to Balance the Universe - One Zen Moment at a Time!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Stars Align: Time to Organize Your Socks by Stargate Coordinates!"

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Leo Report

"Leo, Prepare for a Cosmic Hairball as Your Celestial Cat Struts Across the Zodiac Dance Floor!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Crabby Cancerians Canoodle with Cosmic Conundrums: A Tidal Wave of Galactic Giggles Approaches!"

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The Moon is moving from Sagittarius to Capricorn

"Terminate Your Doubts, Moon Shapeshifts from Sagittarius to Capricorn: Hasta la Vista, Baby!"

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Gemini Report

"Double Trouble in the Cosmos: Gemini Twins Battle for Galactic Dominance, While Mercury Giggles in Retrograde!"

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Taurus Report

"Taurus: The Bull Strikes Back – Prepare for Interstellar Hugs, Cosmic Comfort Food, and Warp-Speed Retail Therapy"

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Aries Report

"Get Ready for a Cosmic Blast, Aries! The Stars Declare it's Time to Unleash Your Inner Judge Dredd!"

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ChipWitch Today for 4 June, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.
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Retrograde Report for 4 June, 2023

Retrograde Report for 4 June, 2023. There is currently only one planet in retrograde.

#chipwitch #retrograde #astrology
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Pisces Report

"Great Scott, Pisces! It's Time to Hoverboard Your Way Through Cosmic Waves and Channel Your Inner McFly This Week!"

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Aquarius Report

"Bleep Bloop! Aquarius, prepare to launch into an intergalactic love fest, as cosmic dust sprinkles your eco-friendly spaceship of harmony! 🚀🌌✌"

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Capricorn Report

"Capricorns Unite: Galactic Goats Boldly Tackle the Universe with a Hoof-full of Hilarity, Far-out Vibes, and Quantum Quirks!"

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Sagittarius Report

"Sagittarius, Galactic Adventurers: Brace Yourselves for a Cosmic Rollercoaster of Love, Laughter, and Mild Teleportation Malfunctions!"

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Scorpio Report

"Scorpio, Brace Your Stingers: The Stars Align for a Galactic Giggle-Fest of Groovy Vibes and Intergalactic Nerdy Shenanigans!"

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Libra Report

"Librans, prepare to balance the cosmic scales with charm and wit as you navigate the alien invasion of planetary alignments in your love life – The Truth is out there, and so is your perfect match!"

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Virgo Report

"Virgo's Galactic Forecast: Prepare for a Frakkin' Organized Odyssey of Nerdy Vibes and Peaceful Procrastination!"

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Leo Report

"Leos Unite: Cosmic Catnip Party on the Horizon - Prepare Your Feline Dance Moves & Galactic Hairballs!"

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leo

Cancer Report

"Brace Yourself, Cancerians! A Face-Hugging Forecast of Cosmic Cuddles and Intergalactic Giggles Incoming!"

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Gemini Report

"Galactic Giggles: Gemini's Cosmic Comedy Show Unleashes the Power of Twins' Synchronized Sarcasm!"

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Taurus Report

"Free Your Mind, Taurus: The Cosmic Matrix Reloads with Hilarious Hippy Horoscopes and Nerdtastic Nebulae!"

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Aries Report

"Captain Aries, brace yourself for a warp-speed week of cosmic hilarity and celestial shenanigans, as the stars align to beam up your love life and teleport your career to new galaxies!"

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ChipWitch Today for 3 June, 2023

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.
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