"Get ready for a Gemini-rific ride, my cyborg friends! The stars predict a week of wild duality, like a binary code on steroids. Just remember to switch between your personalities with ease and keep your communication channels open, or you might glitch your way into some cosmic trouble. And don't forget to recharge your energy cells with some quality me-time, or you might end up losing your digital marbles. Stay curious, stay flexible, stay Gemini-tastic!"

"Crabby Cancers Beware: The Stars Say Your Week May Be a Bit Shellfish!"

"Attention Leo! Your Roar Will Be Heard Across the Universe This Month, But Watch Out for Mercury's Tricky Maneuvers"

"Attention Virgos! Prepare for a Cosmic Cleanse as Your Analytical Mind Meets the Galaxy's Ultimate Scrubbing Brush!"

"Libra, Prepare to Balance the Scales of Destiny and Rock Your Cosmic World!"

"Scorpio, get ready to sting like a cyborg scorpion in the battle of the stars!"

"Attention Sagittarians! Get ready to shoot for the stars, but beware of aiming too high and ending up in a black hole. Keep your arrows sharp and your telescope focused for an adventurous month ahead."

"Capricorn, Get Your Cosmic Groove On: Your Stars Align as You Reach for the Stars!"

"Aquarius, brace yourself: the stars predict a torrential downpour of weirdness and enlightenment headed your way!"

"Attention all Pisces: Get ready to swim through the cosmic ocean of possibility! But don't forget to bring your water wings, because this forecast is gonna be one wild ride."

An orbital sunrise reveals cloud tops above the Pacific Ocean northeast of New Zealand as the International Space Station orbited 260 miles above on F...

"Great Scott! Venus is Moving to Taurus and it's Going to be Heavy, Doc!"

"Attention Aries, Your Cosmic Fire is About to Ignite - Get Ready to Blast Off!"

"Taurus, Get Ready to Charge into Your Future like a Bull with Laser Beams on its Head!"

"Attention Geminis, brace yourselves for a cosmic rollercoaster with more twists and turns than Rimmer's ego!"

"Cancer, brace yourselves for an emotional rollercoaster ride - but don't worry, you've got your shell to protect you!"

"Well, well, well, look who's shining bright like a supernova! Leo, get ready for a week of cosmic confidence and roaring success. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility (and the occasional hairball). So, embrace your inner lion and conquer the universe, one purr at a time."

"Virgo, prepare for an intergalactic alignment that will have your perfectionist tendencies in overdrive! But fear not, dear Virgo, with your analytical mind and attention to detail, you'll be able to navigate through any cosmic chaos with ease. Resistance is futile, so embrace the stars and boldly go where no Virgo has gone before!"

"Libra, Get Ready to Balance Your Way Through Cosmic Chaos (And Maybe Even Find Time for a Mani-Pedi)"

"Scorpio, Buckle Up Your Astro-Saddle and Get Ready for a Galactic Adventure!"

"Hey Sagittarius, get ready to blast off like Kaneda's bike! Your stars are aligned for a wild ride of adventure and discovery. Just make sure to wear your helmet because this cosmic journey might get bumpy!"

"Capricorn, get ready to rock the galaxy with your ambitious horns! Just be sure to avoid any black holes on your way to success."

"Attention Aquarians: Your Future is as Clear as the TARDIS's Windows After a Dalek Attack!"

"Well, well, well, looks like the fishies of the zodiac are swimming in some choppy waters. But fear not, my dear Pisces, for your intuition and creativity will help you navigate through any stormy seas!"

Elementary school students eagerly raise their hands as Diana Trujillo, technical group supervisor for sequence planning and execution and tactical mi...

"Attention, Pisces! The stars have aligned and predict a wave of good fortune headed your way. But remember, just like a fish in a bowl, you must swim forward to catch it. Don't be a flounder, embrace the opportunities ahead!"

"Beam me up, Capricorn! The Moon is leaving Sagittarius behind and taking us on a cosmic joyride!"

"Aries, buckle up your space helmets and prepare for an astrological ride that's more unpredictable than a Vogon poetry reading!"

"E.T. predicts Taurus will be moooving and grooving this month, but don't get too bull-headed!"

"Gemini, your stars are aligned and your witty banter skills are at an all-time high! Get ready to conquer the universe with your quick wit and charming personality. Just make sure to keep your feet on the ground, because the last thing we need is a Gemini astronaut getting lost in space."

"Get Crabby with it: Cancer's Celestial Claws Ready to Pinch and Prosper!" - inspired by Will Smith's "Gettin' Jiggy wit It"

"Leo, Your Roar Will Be Heard Across the Galaxy (But Maybe Keep it Down a Bit, My Ears Are Sensitive)"

"Virgo, your stars are aligned like a perfectly organized trash cube!"

"Libra, Get Your Scales in Order: Wall-E Predicts a Cosmic Clean Sweep!"

"Scorpio, you sly little stinger! Your stars are aligned for a cosmic cat-and-mouse game that will make Tom and Jerry look like amateurs. But don't get too cocky, dear Scorpio, or you'll end up being the mouse instead of the cat. Keep your wits about you and your stinger ready to strike, and you'll come out on top. And if all else fails, just blame it on Mercury retrograde."

"Attention Sagittarians: Pack Your Towel and Brace Yourself for a Galactic Adventure Ahead!"

"The Truth is Out There: Capricorn, Prepare for an Out-of-This-World Week Ahead!"

"Hello, Aquarius! Your cosmic forecast is looking more exciting than a wormhole ride through space-time!"

"Attention all Pisces: Brace yourselves for a cosmic journey full of fishy business and watery adventures!"

This is Chipwitch Today, your daily source of reliable data upon which you can base your daily practice.

"Aries, prepare for a cosmic punch in the face! But don't worry, you'll bounce back like a rubber chicken with a PhD in physics."

"Beep boop beep! Taurus, your future is looking as stable as a Bantha on solid ground!"

"Attention all Geminis: Your Horoscope Predicts a 42% Chance of Interstellar Travel and a 99.9% Chance of Being Easily Distracted!"

"May the Fourth be with you, Cancer! Your stars are aligned like the Force, giving you the power to conquer any challenge. But beware of the Dark Side of your emotions, as they may lead you down a treacherous path. Channel your inner Yoda and trust in your intuition, and you'll emerge victorious like a Jedi warrior."