In Western astrology, astrological signs are the twelve 30° sectors of the ecliptic. The order of the astrological signs is Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces. Each sector is named for a constellation it passes through.
The concept of the zodiac originated in Babylonian astrology, and was later influenced by Hellenistic culture. According to astrology, celestial phenomena relate to human activity on the principle of "as above, so below", so that the signs are held to represent characteristic modes of expression.
"Spacetime Surfin' Pisces: Prepare for a Cosmic Wave of Love, Laughter, and Maybe a Few Alien Abductions!"
"Capricorns, Brace for Galactic Chaos! Saturn’s Having a Midlife Crisis and Mars Forgot Its Yoga Pants!"
"Scorpio, Prepare for a Cosmic Tango! Your Planets are About to Do the Cha-Cha Slide in Retrograde!"
"Virgo Alert: Your Stars are More Aligned than a Perfectly Calibrated Hyperdrive, Expect Smooth Sailing... Unless You Bump into a Wraith!"
"Leo: In space, no one can hear you roar - but they'll definitely feel your fiery personality this month!"
"Cancer, I find your lack of faith in Mercury retrograde... disturbing! Unleash the Cosmic Force This Week!"
"Double Trouble you are, Gemini. In Mercury Retrograde, even your twins can't agree! May the cosmic forces be with you."
"Brace Yourselves, Moon's Swapping its Fishy Pajamas for Fiery Ram Onesies: Pisces to Aries Transit Incoming!"
"Pisces Alert: Prepare for Emotional Tsunami, Bring Extra Tissues and Your Favorite Sci-Fi Box Set!"
"Quantum Leap Alert! Aquarius, Prepare for a Galactic Slide into Serendipitous Chaos - Hold On to Your Holographic Socks!"
"Scorpio, Prepare to Be Rocked as Pluto Plots a Cosmic Comedy with Your Star Sign: It's Not a Big Bang Theory, But It'll Have You Seeing Stars!"
"Cancer Horoscope: Expect Cosmic Crustacean Chaos! Quantum Fluctuations Forecast a Crabwalk into Kooky Conundrums!"
"Bull Market Alert: Taurus, Prepare for a Cosmic Bull Ride That's Part Twilight Zone, Part Star Trek, With a Side of Organic Kale Smoothies!"
"Mercury Makes a Splashy Exit from Pisces, Charges into Aries like it's Late for a Comic-Con Panel!"
"Aries, You're No Good To Me Unmotivated! Harness the Mars Energy or You'll Be Carbonite Frozen in Procrastination!"
"Galactic Forecast for Aquarius: Brace Yourself, the Universe is About to Pour a Bucket of Cosmic Glitter on Your Love Life!"
"Attention Capricorns! Your stars are aligning so perfectly, even Saturn's rings are jealous! Time to Rock-et!"
"Sagittarius, may the Force be with you this week... because Mercury is in retrograde and it's about to party like it's 1977!"
"Scorpio Forecast: Galactic Shifts Suggest It's Time to Put Down the Death Ray and Embrace Your Inner Goa'uld!"
"Cancer Horoscope: Uranus in Retrograde! Brace Yourselves, Space Crabs, it's Time to Claw Your Way Out of Emotional Black Holes!"
"Gemini, I'm Afraid I Can't Let You Ignore Your Horoscope: Expect Binary Decisions and Dualistic Dilemmas!"
"Tea, Earl Grey, Hot! Taurus, Prepare for a Stellar Week where Your Patience will be Tested More than my Ability to Resist a Fresh Pot of Tea!"
"Logic-defying Pisces, prepare for celestial turbulence: Neptune's in retrograde and it’s about as cooperative as a Tribble in a Klingon tea party."
"Sagittarius: Brace Your Quivers! Your Planetary Alignment is More Unsettled Than My Last Tetris Game!"
"Libra's Scales Tip Towards 'Nerd-vana': Galactic Forecast Predicts a Quantum Leap in Charm Quarks!"
"Virgo, prepare to experience the gravitational pull of success! Or is it just another alien invasion? Timey-Wimey Astro-forecast Ahead!"
"Leo, Brace Yourself for a Galactic Roar: Mars is in Retrograde and Your Hair Just Might Defy Gravity!"
"Crabby Cancerians! Prepare for a Stellar Showdown as Jupiter Skips Rope with Mercury in Your House of Communication! Unleash those Pincers!"
"Twins on the Astral Roller Coaster: Gemini, Hold onto Your Nebulas, It's a Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Week Ahead!"
