"Virgo, You're Bursting with Potential, Much Like a Xenomorph from an Unfortunate Crew Member's Chest!"
"Leo, Prepare to Roar: Mars Enters Your Sign, Expect Sudden Urge to Conquer Galaxies and Binge-Watch Stargate!"
"Crabby Cancerians, Prepare for the Celestial Hokey Pokey: You Put Your Right Claw In, You Take Your Right Claw Out!"
"Aries: Mars is in Retrograde; Time to Charge Ahead or Hide Under Your Bed? Either Way, Don't Forget Your Tin Foil Hat!"