"Alien Invasion Forecast: Cancer, it’s Time to Break Out the Flamethrower and Fight Off Those Space Invaders of Stress!"
"Cancerians, This is the Forecast You've Been Shell-Searching For: May the Stars (and Crabs) Be With You!"
"Cancerians, Brace Your Crabs! Retrograde is going to be a wilder ride than a quantum physics lecture on skateboards!"
"Crabby Cancer, Hold Onto Your Shells! Intergalactic Tidal Waves of Change are Crashing Your Shoreline!"
