There is currently only one planet in retrograde:
            
   
    Universal Horoscope for the Curious Cosmonauts
    
      Greetings, Earthlings! Your favorite astrologer is back, armed with a kaleidoscope of cosmic comings and goings as amusing as a Dalek at a disco. Let's dive into this week's celestial shenanigans. #StellarStyle #AlienHumor
     
    
      First up, Mercury and Venus are both hanging out in Sagittarius. This means you might be feeling a sudden urge to explore new worlds, seek out new life and civilizations... you know, boldly go where no man has gone before. Just remember, not all aliens are friendly - watch out for those proverbial green men! #StarshipEnterprise #WatchOutForAliens
     
    
      Mars is currently being a stubborn mule in Capricorn, so don't be surprised if you have a sudden desire to conquer the universe, or at least, tidy up your bedroom. And with Jupiter lounging around in Taurus, indulgence is at an all-time high. Go ahead, have that second piece of cake. Or third. Who's counting? #ConquerTheUniverse #CakeIsLife
     
    
      Saturn is doing its best impression of a hippie, chilling in Pisces. This encourages us all to embrace our inner peace, love, and understanding. Meanwhile, over in the same sign, Neptune seems to be on a spiritual retreat. Expect dreams filled with fish, fountains, and maybe a few flippers. #PeaceAndLove
     
     
      Uranus in Taurus suggests it might be time to shake up your routine. Maybe try quantum physics for breakfast, instead of your usual cereal? And finally, Pluto in Capricorn is influencing us to transform and evolve. It's like a cosmic "level up" button. So, go ahead and press it, if you dare! #CosmicLevelUp #QuantumForBreakfast
     
    
      That's all for now, space cadets! Remember, no matter how many light years are between you and your dreams, you're made of stardust. You're a child of the universe. And most importantly, you're never alone in your journey - unless you're lost in the TARDIS. #Child 
            
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