By The Chip Witch on Saturday, 30 March 2024
Category: Retrograde Report

Retrograde Report for 30 March, 2024

RETROGRADE REPORT for
30 March, 2024
 
What's Up Today?

There are no planets in retrograde!

Your Hilarious Planetary Retrograde Horoscope

Your Hilarious Planetary Retrograde Horoscope

Greetings, stardust-infused life forms! As the cosmic traffic controller, I must announce some interesting planetary movements. It seems many planets have decided to moonwalk backwards and we're left to deal with the celestial consequences. So, strap in your seat belts and let's dive into this astrological mumbo jumbo!

Mercury in Aries

Mercury is doing the cha-cha slide in Aries, causing everyone to sound like Daleks on fast-forward. Expect miscommunications that could rival any "Who's on First" skit. Remember to practice patience, or as the Daleks say, "Calm-inate, Calm-inate!" #MercuryInAries #CommunicationBreakdown

Venus in Pisces

Venus has gone retrograde in Pisces. This means your love life may feel like you’re stuck in a Doctor Who episode where everyone speaks only in rhyme. Embrace the confusion and remember, love's language is universal. Even Daleks can feel it. #VenusInPisces #LoveInTheTimeOfRetrograde

Mars in Pisces

Mars has joined Venus in Pisces, and the energy feels like a Dalek running on low battery. Things may seem slower than an asthmatic snail, but remember, slow and steady wins the race. #MarsInPisces #SlowMoLife

Jupiter in Taurus

Jupiter in Taurus is about as predictable as a Dalek on a disco dancefloor. Expect the unexpected and, if all else fails, just do the Time Warp again. #JupiterInTaurus #DiscoDalek

Saturn, Neptune in Pisces & Uranus in Taurus

The Moon

The moon is currently in Sagittarius, at 05 degrees, 18' 17", at a velocity of 12.59 degrees per day.

The Waning Gibbous moon is currently 19.3 days old. It is 388911.9 km from the centre of the Earth.

The next new moon is at 18:23:21, 8 Apr 2024. The next full moon is at 23:51:09, 23 Apr 2024.

The Solar System at a Glance

Solar wind parameters were at nominal levels. Solar wind speed declined from approximately 400 km/s to near 340 km/s. Total field ranged from 1-4 nT. Phi angle was variable.

There is a 20% chance of solar activity, with a 5% chance of a minor event, a 1% chance of a moderate event, and a 1% chance of a strong event.

Planetary Motions

 
Mercury
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Mercury is currently in Aries.

Fun Fact About Mercury

 
Mercury.Retrograde.Today

 
Venus
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Venus is currently in Pisces.
 
Venus.Retrograde.Today

 
Mars
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Mars is currently in Pisces.
 
Mars.Retrograde.Today

 
Jupiter
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Jupiter is currently in Taurus.
 
Jupiter.Retrograde.Today

 
Saturn
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Saturn is currently in Pisces.
 
Saturn.Retrograde.Today

 
Uranus
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Uranus is currently in Taurus.
 
Uranus.Retrograde.Today

 
Neptune
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Neptune is currently in Pisces.
 
Neptune.Retrograde.Today

 
Pluto
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Pluto is currently in Aquarius.
 
Pluto.Retrograde.Today
 

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